“Adultery: Just Sex”
When I was in seminary I took a class that bore the subtitle: “Bonding: Relationships In The Image Of God.” The contention of the professor was that we go through a similar progression of attachment in every relationship: We meet, we show interest, it is returned, we spend time, blah blah blah, sex. If it’s “friendship”, the progression stops at the healthy and appropriate places, and what we have is a healthy “bond.” So a bond of friendship or a bond of familial love, or a bond of mutual respect, or the love and physical bond of marriage all live best within their boundaries of what is an appropriate attachment.
Any relationship that jumps quickly and inappropriately to sex has short-circuited the healthy bonding process. And because “just sex” can result in “just children” some couples who choose to marry for “the children’s sake” may enter marriage knowing little about one another. They have not spent time in friendship, courtship, and early loving. Their bond is incomplete and frankly started at the wrong end of the process. Yet just sex creates a bond.
The bond of marriage and the bond of the sexual relationship are good, great, wonderful things. When you throw an extra sexual partner in the love story, you’re heading for trouble. Lies are suddenly necessary. Everyone loses. Hearts are headed for breaking. Country music is about to be written.
And here’s something the just sex crowd will never tell you. Adulterous sex is a uniting act too. You do bond with another in sex, in ways you do not bond with just friends. It dilutes the original relationship…and you cannot be free.
PRAYER: Lord we want to be free. And we do not want to be enslaved to the lies and secrecy that this sin brings. Free us for joyful obedience to your word. Amen.